Tooth Be Told

I've had a bit of dental work done over the past couple of months. There have been multiple trips to my regular dental surgery, where I've started seeing the new dentist, and a couple of trips to the endodontist, never heard of this term prior to 2 months ago. 

I've invariably been the same person over these 2 months bar the time of day and how much sleep I've had. I approach the time in the chair the same way, but I realized today I've walked away feeling completely different about these experiences. The endodontist made a point of telling me what he was about to do and how he was about to do it. He did this prior to coming anywhere near my mouth. I felt calm, informed, and prepared. He encouraged deep breathing as he injected the needle and his general demeanor was calm, caring, and genuine. He wasn't over the top sweet nor was he condescending as I asked questions about what he was doing. I felt he was treating me--the whole me-- not just my tooth. I was relaxed and confident. 

Today as I lay back at my regular dental office I was struck by a different experience. I gagged as she went to put in the tooth pillow. I wasn't ready for it. I put my left  hand up which is the signal for stop. I asked her if she could tell me what she is about to do before she does it as I can then mentally and physically prepare myself through breath and mindset. She agreed. A few more minutes in she went to move my head on the chair. Granted this time she was telling me but it was at the same time as the motions were happening. My mind didn't have time to process. Again, I said what is it that you want me to do. It took me a moment to realize how she wanted to move my head, "Oh you want my to lift my head up? Sure I can do that." I complied with my body. 

For the rest of the time I was in the chair I felt a slight tinge of condescension from her and the assistant. Like i needed remediation or intervention because I had asked for information about what was about to be done to my body before they did it. I felt like I was getting in the way of the procedure on my tooth. 

Two thoughts came to my mind as I lay there; one of children in our schools and the other about my son. 

My success as a patient on these recent trips has been dependent on the professional. Both procedures have been successful and well executed.  What I mean is how I feel as a patient. I walked out of the dentist today feeling blah. She said all the right things but they felt rushed and perfunctory like I was a job to get done. While i felt the endodontist saw the person connected to the tooth. This didn't take any extra time and I commented to him how it made me feel relaxed (the other dentist told me to relax). Is this how kids feel when they are with different teachers? How can we make sure we keep the person and therefore the learning in focus and not the teaching or task at hand? We might have taught this concept multiple times before but we have never taught it to these people in our class before and we should not lose sight of that. 

The second thought had me thinking about this from son's perspective (I'm doing this a lot these days). He's coming up to 2. I want him to feel confident,  comfortable, and in control when visiting medical professionals. How scary for a little person to have someone they don't know shoving their head close to yours and putting fingers and tools in their little mouth. I need them to connect with my child and treat the whole person. This is how we build trust with our medical professionals and how we help our children understand how to feel and stay safe with their body.